Review: Not If I See You First

Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom
Publisher: Poppy
Release Date: December 1st, 2015
Source: Netgalley
Date Read: 11/23/15 to 11/26/15
320 pages

Rating: ✰✰✰1/2

The Rules:

Don't deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.

Don't help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.

Don't be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I'm just like you only smarter.

Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.

When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react-shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened--both with Scott, and her dad--the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.

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I received this ARC in exchange for an honest review. Quotes taken from ARC may or may not be in the published edition.

I was actually supposed to write this review ages ago, seeing that I did finish Not If I See You First before December, but sadly I hit a major blogging slump. So I'm trying to see whether writing this review will get me back into the swing of it.

What initially drew me into requesting this was Parker, our blind main character. I didn't even pay attention to the rest of the synopsis, my mind was drawn to the cover, and went "Oo a blind MC! Yes! Interesting! Request!". In other words, I wasn't exactly expecting the drama that unfolded, but nevertheless, this still ended up being a pretty good book!

Again, I've been known to not like contemporary. So this is me out of my comfort zone. (And also slightly sick).

Parker really stood out to me. Even though she was blind, she didn't let that bring her down. She ran, for crying out loud. If I were to lose my sight, I would be sitting on the couch all day, not sprinting across a field! Her confidence is what really pulled me into the novel. Her motto was "Don't see them, don't see their reactions, don't care about what think about me", and that is a damn good motto to have. She's not one to care about what she wears, except for her blindfolds, which each have a different pattern on them. By sewing on tags with braille on them, she can distinguish between each one, and where the one that suits her mood for that day the best.

And then, the romance. Or the drama. Throughout the course of the novel, we quickly learn that Parker used to have a thing for Scott, but then he ends up being on her shitlist. Now, years later with the merging of high schools, Scott is back, and of course, still in love with Parker. Even though Parker and her best friend have their own little advice booth during lunch, she doesn't understand how much her grudge is hurting the people around her. So yes, even though you can't see, that doesn't mean that people no longer exist to you anymore. Them and their feelings are still there.

So of course, there is drama over that, but it's good drama. It's drama that builds character, especially for Parker. And I'm sure that if I were in her shoes, I would have the same line of reasoning. Yet, even with saying this, as myself, I found it hard to understand how she held a grudge for so long. She had years to let it go. But nope.

I loved Parker, but I didn't necessarily understand her actions or thoughts behind Scott. Which is fine, I suppose, seeing as I am not blind, and that particular event did not happen to me. Neither do I have the same personality as Parker (or have all of those rules). So my rating is more based of my tolerance of contemporary, and my disconnection towards any of the characters. But other than that, this was such an interesting read, and the author did a great job at portraying the scene without the use of visuals. And that's always a plus.