Review: Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights

Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights by Salman Rushdie
Publisher: Random House
Release Date: September 8th, 2015
Source: Library
Date Read: 11/4/15 to 11/10/15
290 pages

Rating: ✰

From one of the greatest writers of our time: the most spellbinding, entertaining, wildly imaginative novel of his great career, which blends history and myth with tremendous philosophical depth. A masterful, mesmerizing modern tale about worlds dangerously colliding, the monsters that are unleashed when reason recedes, and a beautiful testament to the power of love and humanity in chaotic times.

Inspired by 2,000 years of storytelling yet rooted in the concerns of our present moment, this is a spectacular achievement--enchanting, both very funny and terrifying. It is narrated by our descendants 1000 years hence, looking back on "The War of the Worlds" that began with "the time of the strangenesses": a simple gardener begins to levitate; a baby is born with the unnerving ability to detect corruption in people; the ghosts of two long-dead philosophers begin arguing once more; and storms pummel New York so hard that a crack appears in the universe, letting in the destructive djinns of myth (as well as some graphic superheroes). Nothing less than the survival of our world is at stake. Only one, a djinn princess who centuries before had learned to love humankind, resolves to help us: in the face of dynastic intrigue, she raises an army composed of her semi-magical great-great--etc.--grandchildren--a motley crew of endearing characters who come together to save the world in a battle waged for 1,001 nights--or, to be precise, two years, eight months and twenty-eight nights.

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Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.

Guys, I don't know if you have ever read any of Rushdie's books, or even heard of this one because it is adult, but I just have to say that it really caters to a specific type of reader. And that reader is not me.

I'm not sure WHY was the November book for book club, but I am discontent. I honestly do not even remember voting for this, which is sad to say. Either that, or I was completely misled as to what this would actually be.

HERE'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ABOUT: Humankind is at stake, as the descendants of a djinn have their powers revealed due to the cracks in the universe. They have cool powers like levitation, detecting corruption, shooting lightning from their hands, etc. Like seriously, it's like X-Men, or it could have been.

WHAT IT REALLY WAS: Sex, sex, sex, random facts about the neighbors of the characters' neighbors and I don't even know what's going on because I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ALL 30 OF THESE SIDE CHARACTERS.

Luckily, I wasn't the only one that brought up my hatred of this book. One of my friends thought that most of the women portrayed in the story were only used to incorporate sex in the novel. Which again, not something I was interested in at all. AND WHY? Ugh. Also, the writing, it is not something you can read in a night. Even if it is less than 300 pages. It is just so dense and even skimming the rest of the book wasn't worth it. I understood nothing. And frankly, I'm glad I didn't.

As you can see. This isn't a book for me. And I know you guys have probably never heard of this, but I'll just say this is more of a warning than a review. I do not recommend this to readers who hate dense, detailed writing about characters that are not the main characters, and about unnecessary details about "romance". This does not truly focus on the fantasy aspect of all the characters and the djinns, which is why I was misled in the first place. 

LE SIGH.

(If by some chance, you HAVE read this, then I am thoroughly impressed because this is a really hard book to get through!)